The Adventures of Kira Tomato
by Attharun
Summary: Kira Yamato is an aspiring superhero. Rau Le Creuset and his ally, Mr. Pink, are causing trouble in the local city. Will Kira be able to stop them? Probably not! Well you'll have to read to find out won't you?


Disclaimer: Gundam Seed isn't mine, so I'm stuck here chewing watermelon seeds instead.

a/n: Hello, it's me again! I'm back with a humor fic. But this doesn't mean I'm not writing romance fics anymore. I'm just looking for some inspiration. Or it could be that I have absolutely _no idea_ what to write. Anyway, I won't keep you waiting. Just leave a review. Okay? Thanks.

Just when you thought there were enough superheroes in this world already, one man (who's actually dumb enough to put on his underwear _outside_ the pants of his Earth Alliance uniform) tries his luck to save humanity.

His name is Kira Yamato, a Coordinator with an IQ of four (tsk, tsk, what a shame), and enough power to take on a potato.

Today we find Rau Le Creuset, a well-known villain, terrorizing a science laboratory. His partner: a Haro by the name of Mr. Pink, who was now wearing a mask and cape. Here, our story starts.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Creuset cackled as he set a table on fire when he poured some random chemicals on it.

"NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. Pink, who is also known as "Lifesaver Haro", laughed menacingly while head-butting some poor fourth-graders. (Ironic, isn't it?)

"Stop right there!" Someone shouted.

"Who are you? And why are you interrupting our 'villainy activities'?" Creuset glared at the person who had shouted.

"It is I, Kira Yamato!" the guy said. "Prepare to face my superhero wrath!"

"I'll handle this!" Lifesaver Haro declared. He took out a shovel (which came out of nowhere, by the way) and flew towards the enemy.

Kira, who was totally unprepared, was not able to dodge. He got hammered by the shovel. Then he was hit again. And again. And again.

"NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Both villains crowed as the so-called superhero collapsed on the floor, unconscious.

* * *

Later, at the mayor's office… 

"You failed again, Mr. Yamato. This is the thirty-fifth time… this week," Mayor Athrun Zala sat on his desk and spoke in a mostly monotone voice.

Hovering in the air was a periwinkle Haro carrying a tape recorder (which is questionable, since it didn't have any hands.)

"I'll try to do better next time!" Kira said hopefully.

The Haro clicked the 'on' button of the tape recorder.

"THAT"S WHAT YOU SAID _LAST_ TIME!" Athrun's voice screamed.

"Oops, I'm running out of 'heart-piercing' lines," Kira muttered.

"Secretary," Athrun called, using the same monotonic voice.

"Yes?" Cagalli Yula Atha said in a bored voice. _Why do _I_ have to be the secretary?_ She thought.

"Help this incompetent excuse of a man improve his 'superhero attitude'," Athrun told her. _I'm trying very, very, _very_ hard not to touch Cagalli till the end of this fic,_ he thought. It was pretty obvious, too, because he was sweating like a fire hydrant with water pouring out of it.

* * *

Five and a half minutes later… 

"What you need is something that will hide that smirking face of yours," Cagalli stated, like it was obvious.

"I'm smirking?" Kira asked.

"Whatever."

After trying out some hats, caps, rubber chickens, etcetera, with a lot of complaining from Kira…

"That looks perfect!" Cagalli snickered. Kira was now wearing one of those hats that Frenchmen wear.

"But I look like a tomato," Kira whined.

"You were _born a tomato_, deal with it," Cagalli said dryly.

"Okay, okay, I'll wear this one then," Kira pouted.

"Now go find Creuset."

"Yes, dear sister of mine."

"I'll pretend I have no connection whatsoever to you, okay? Now shoo," Cagalli said. She muttered something about not acknowledging Kira as her relative.

* * *

Meanwhile… 

Creuset was currently busy being mesmerized by a lava lamp. And he was drooling.

"Oooh…" he said stupidly.

"Creuset! Look at that guy!" Lifesaver Haro said. "Who's he?"

"Him?" Creuset pointed at Kira, who just went out of the hat shoppe. "Hmm… I don't know! The smirk on his face looks familiar, but the tomato hat baffles me!"

"Aha!" Kira said. "It's you!" He pointed at Creuset. "And you," he pointed at Lifesaver Haro.

"Who are _you_ supposed to be?" the Haro said with a sneer.

"I'm Kira Ya-uh, I mean, Tomato! Yeah, that's right! Kira Tomato!"_ I can't believe I named myself after a _fruit, he thought.

The mayor's Haro appeared, still carrying the tape recorder, which yelled, "TOMATOES ARE VEGETABLES, YOU NINCOMPOOP!"

"How'd he read my thoughts?" Kira wondered. "Oh well, back to business. Um… You're under arrest!"

"You're not a cop!" the Haro pointed out. "You're a vigilante!"

"What does that mean?" Creuset asked.

"Never mind," the pink Haro said impatiently. It pulled out a pair of garden shears (which he stole from the local gardener a short while ago). The tips shimmered dangerously.

"See my power and cower!" It said as it flew towards Kira, cutting the air with the giant scissors.

"I see your power. Where's your cower?" Kira wondered.

"Whatever! Prepare to die!" it hollered.

"Flashing Pearly Whites!" Kira smiled, showing off his perfectly bright teeth.

"Ahhh! I'm going bliiind!" The Haro villain dropped the shears and fell to the ground, its circuits breaking.

"Creuset tiptoed and tried to escape, but a police Haro shot him with a squirtgun.

"Ahhhh! Water! I'm meeeltiiiing!" And then all that was left (or so everyone thought) was a humongous puff of smoke. Little did they know that Creuset sneaked past the smug Kira and ran away with an incredible speed, Lifesaver Haro in his hand.

"For saving the city from potential threats out of sheer dumb luck, yadda yadda, here's some counterfeit mo-I mean, very real cash for you," Athrun said. On cue, two muscle men carried a trunk full of fake cash and dropped it in front of Kira.

"Thank you, thank you," Kira said and bowed to his fans, which consisted of a few crickets.

"Okay, it's the end, time to take Cagalli to a small, uninhabited island nearby!" Athrun said excitedly, and ran off to find his girlfriend, who was currently nowhere to be seen.

"Ooookay," was all everyone else could say.

a/n: Hope you enjoyed! I'll probably write a sequel. Probably. Well, you'll hear from me soon. Meanwhile, I'm going on a vacation to nowhere! Cheerio!


End file.
